Max Riffner
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Coffee!
This morning, I awoke to the smell of fresh coffee, but my mood turned sour as I saw that only 4 cups had been made. Since we always make 6 cups, that meant 2 cups of it was stuck in the filter bowl still. The reason for this: somehow, the filter’s edge deflates or something underneath where the hot water comes out, thus blocking the coffee flow. Eventually, it all drains out, but I don’t feel like drinking a cup full of coffee grounds (which tag along with the bong water that gets stuck up there). This happens about 3-4 times out of the 6 times a week we make coffee, and I am ready to kill. It is like waking up, walking out in the kitchen and noticing a steaming pile of turd waiting for you in the middle of the floor. The worst part of this is that our coffee-maker is made by Mr. Coffee.
Seriously.
How do you make a shitty coffee-maker when your damn name is Mr. Coffee?
I’ve had better luck with the 10 buck generic coffee-maker that you buy in grocery stores. They just die after a few years, but c’mon! Mr. Goddamn Coffee! Is coffee-making technology that freaking advanced after all these years?! I would have thought that we’ve come about as far as we can go in that realm of human achievement!
I want to blow up my Mr. Coffee crappy coffee-maker. Better yet, go Office Space on it like I did with those pumpkins, if the Chief will let me.
Maybe I just buy cheap coffee-makers? Should I take it to the next level, and I mean really invest some money into one?
What kind of coffee-maker do you have?
I use a french press at home. Don’t make it that often anymore. I also have a single-serving maker that I bought from the Asian store. I know, none of this is helpful.
At work, we have a nice one that Rich got when ordering gourmet coffee from Gevalia. Unfortunately, it takes the special cone filters and when people forget to fold them, the same thing happens to us that happens to you, grounds in the coffee.
[Tangent – worst name ever for a coffee shop, Grounds to Drink—Yuck]
The last coffee maker that we bought from Walgreens would leak when you were pouring a cup of coffee, or when you were filling it. I guess, the point is, don’t go too cheap on the coffee maker. Look for something with a good spout.
Heck, I’ll defer to Bronson. I think he changed his last name from Coffee to Riley when he moved to America.
I mean, Ohio.
The last coffee maker that we bought from Walgreens would leak when you were pouring a cup of coffee, or when you were filling it.
Yes! Our’s does that, too! Anger growing! I forgot about that. I’m constantly cleaning the countertop from coffee dribbles. Two screwups for Mr. Coffee!
Bronson, preach it to me. What can I do?
Those Gevalia ones are nice. We have one here at work and everyone seems very pleased. This one, though, doesn’t require any special filters, I think.
Tangent
The Hawaiia Coffee Company’s 100% Royal Kona coffee is the best freakin’ coffee on the planet. Get some now!
We have a coffee machine, but mostly it’s my wife who uses it… and not very often. I personally get queasy after two cups of coffee, b elieve it or not. My stomach will hurt and i will feel nauseous.
On another note, when i was a teenager, one of the jobs i had was fixing Mr. Coffee machines! Seriously! I would travel across Iowa with my boss and work out of drug stores and super markets fixing and rebuilding Mr. Coffee machines. I was only okay at it, but i did it for years. you wouldn’t believe how cheap those things really are.
AndreaDec 16, 04:59 AM
Bought a coffee maker from Walgreen’s once, only because my boyfriend Bronson Coffee refused to stay at my apartment if I didn’t have one. He then lectured me on how I needed to buy bean grinder as preground is soooo grooosss (have you all gotten the ground beans lecture?) and how the only coffee makers he can use have to be inspired by NASA technology. So I will defer you to him. :)
Seriously this has been one of the funniest posts I’ve read by anyone. I laughed my saa off because I know how it is. I feel for you.
Right now I rely on my trusty cheapo ten-buck-Sunbeam from WalMart. Better than the piece of crap fifty-buck-Mr. Coffe we had ever was.
Coincidentally, that fifty-buck-Mr. Coffe was the one we had to throw out ‘cause of that POS toxic waste “Lime Away” (That’s what Kenneth meant to say)... I’m still pissed at them.
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Dec 15, 07:08 AM
I’ve mostly stopped drinking coffee (just never sounds that good) and I can’t remember what kind of coffee maker we have. I think it was a $10 one from Wal-Mart.
A related horror story. You know that CLR stuff? The chemical that they claim cleans rust and mildew and will take all the build-up out of your coffee pot? Yeah, we tried that about a year ago. It does not work. Had to throw it away, it stunk of chemicals. And no one wants to smell bleach while they enjoy a cup o’ java.
So, get a good coffee maker and don’t clean it with crazy chemicals.