Max Riffner
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First Mow
Last Thursday night, I started feeling a bit rough in the throat, and after a couple hours sleep into Friday morning, I didn’t feel much better. I had to be at work at 4 in the morning to upload some site content that would be missing due to a rollback. I decided to stay the rest of the morning and take a half day off in the afternoon. Thank goodness I did; I went home and puked my guts out from the river of snot that had traversed down my throat over the last 12 hours (that would have been slightly awkward at work). I went to sleep exhausted and have been down with a flu bug ever since.
I’ve been pretty much in and out of sleep all weekend, but one thing stayed on my mind: my new lawn needed to be mowed. This morning, after hacking much snot out, I left the safety of the couch to purchase a gas can and funnel, and to finally mow my lawn for the first time. Now, I know I could have called my brother to do it for me, or any number of friends. However, it is now my lawn, my new mower, and damn it, I wanted to it to be me to be the first one to cut my grass.
It took all of about 30 minutes to cut the grass, or just under a full tank of gas. I was tired, but not as tired as I would have been without the fancy, life-saving self-propulsion system. It felt good to do something, and I felt good knowing that my lawn took about 30 minutes shorter than my folks’ lawn to cut (being the only other lawn that I used to regularly mow, of course). Be that as it may, I promptly went home and crashed for several hours, exhausted once again.
Stupid? Maybe, but it’s the damn principle of the thing now, isn’t it?
I had people over to drink.
I would have, but everyone was busy! Then I was going to do it this weekend, but I got sick. I want everyone to see the “before” scenery, because we are going to start on the floors this week, I hope. Then Mrs. Riffner takes me and the credit card shopping for some new furniture, also.
Let’s not forget all the painting, too. Gah!
Someday, I too, will be able to experience the joys of mowing my own lawn.
In the mean time, however, I’ll gladly let the Mowing Service handle the patch of grass in front of our apartment.
In fact, one morning when I was headed to work, the mower guy (that’s what I call him) almost ran me over as I was coming out of the doorway. We had that awkward “Oh, damn, didn’t see you there” moment.
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Sep 6, 07:27 PM
Not stupid in the least, Mr. Max. Jim told me that the first night he spent in his house, he took a leak in his backyard [they have a privacy fence], after calling the police to make sure it was all legal. The policeman’s response was, “Well, if anyone saw you, it would be indecent exposure, but if they climbed over your fence to see you, we would get them for trespassing.”
The point is, people have different things to mark their territory, to acclimate to their new environment. I had people over to drink.