Max Riffner
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Mocktail, Anyone?
So, my ordeal is almost at an end, and I’m counting down the days. The antibiotics I have to take are, let’s see, counter-productive to my highly-regarded and honed relaxation techniques. Which basically means after a hard day, I like to have a drink, dammit, and I haven’t been able to really enjoy a drink in a long time and it is starting to make me a bit cranky. I’ve had a beer now and then, like, one, and I keep freaking out because it dilutes the effectiveness of the antibiotic.
So, my I’ve replaced my bourbon with… sigh… 7-Up Plus. You’ve seen it, right? Splenda-based 7-Up fruit soda endorsed by two of the ladies on Sex in the City? There is just something wrong in the world though when I sit down on the couch to relax with a book, my slippers, the dog at my feet, and a glass of 7-Up Plus instead of bourbon. What’s worse than this, you ask? I love it. I can’t drink enough of it. It’s like my methadone. What’s worse is that I actually feel relaxed after a glass.
I guess my hormones must have counter-acted this development because I got tired of shaving and grew a beard in the meantime. A big manly beard. Yes.
Let the jokes begin… now!
You finally joined the beard revolution!
Um. Sure!
I had a beard from ages 16 to 25 in some fashion or another; I’m pretty tired of them still. This one is being grown at the tail-end of winter, and I’ll be rid of it in a month. I just got tired of shaving with the condition I’m in, basically.
Still, I’d almost forgotten what I used to look like, way back when. Not too shabby! :)
ChristianFeb 27, 08:54 AM
Um, Ben, that pretty much WAS Max before he quit smoking. So, are you syaing that Max was THE hipster, before hipsters existed?
Perhaps they all be called ‘maxsters’ or something, since they all just really wanna be like Max… but don’t we all.
I never had Chucks (because they fell apart too quickly), nor would I have been smoking Parliaments unless I was bumming. I did like the Luckies (they’re toasted), and the Heavies, but normally Camel Lights were my choice for Flavor Country.
Perhaps they all be called ‘maxsters’ or something, since they all just really wanna be like Max… but don’t we all.
Man, that’s a sad lifestyle choice…
I had some Chucks that lasted awhile. It was always the Nikes and Reeboks that fell apart on me. Nothing lasted like Airwalks, though. Back in the day, at least, I dunno how well the new ones last.
As for the wanna be like Max thing, I’ve noticed that a lot of the stuff I start to enjoy (clothes, music, books, movies, whatever) seems to become pop culture somewhat quickly. Same for my wife. I think there are people that watch the artistic and design communities and push whatever we’re all getting into into the mainstream. Yeah, scary, huh?
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Feb 25, 07:30 AM
Arrrrrr. I want to see some photos of the beard.