Max Riffner

The Parlor

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The wall is not tissue paper

There is nothing like using a nice, clean public restroom. People don’t want to use public restrooms. I think we’d all like to go to the comfort of our home. When you actually find a nice public restroom, you are thankful, and appreciate it. It’s as if the owning establishment is telling you, “We’re sorry you have to use our restroom, we know you’d rather be elsewhere, but we hope you are as comfortable as possible with ours.”

We have nice restrooms in our area at work, brand spanking new, with all the latest amenities: auto-flush, auto-faucet, auto-dryer, soothing colors. Nice. Clean. People from other departments come to use our restroom.

However, there is nothing that can take down the value of a nice restroom than a booger wiped carelessly on the wall in one of the stalls. What braniac would wipe their snot on the wall when there is toilet paper right next to them?!

Try not to think of an answer for too long, or you may stab yourself in the eye.

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